DOES GOD FORBID POLYGAMY?

Polygamy (Greek: polugamia) is the practice or custom in which a man is married to more than one wife at a time.

The mainstream teaching in today’s Christendom is that although God accommodated polygamy in the Old Testament, it is abolished by Jesus Christ and Paul in the New Testament, making “one man, one wife” the only form of marriage approved for New Testament believers. They say that when Jesus Christ referred the Pharisees to the beginning in Matt. 19:1-12 (Mark 10:1-12), He used the word “wife,” not “wives.” They go on to say that Apostle Paul’s insistence that a bishop or deacon “must be the husband of one wife” drives the point home that polygamy is condemned in the New Testament. This is why one Nigerian pastor has been teaching people since 1973 that any polygamous man who becomes “born again” must divorce his other wife/wives apart from the first one. Does the New Testament support their claim? This article brings out the biblical answer to this question.

The So-called Adam and Eve Standard

Advocates of monogamy tell us that the fact that God made only one woman for Adam is because monogamy is intended to be the only form of marriage relationship. That is their opinion. The Bible makes us know that God made one man, Adam, the progenitor of the entire human race: “From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands.” (Acts 17:26 NIV). That God made only one woman for Adam does not automatically connote He had no plan for polygamy as another form of marriage. God’s words and actions subsequent to the creation serve as reliable guide as to whether or not He intended monogamy to be the only form of marriage. Here, we cite three passages of what God said or did after the creation of Adam and Eve:

“If a man has two wives [e.g Leah and Rachel], and he loves one but not the other, and both bear him sons but the firstborn is the son of the wife he does not love, when he wills his property to his sons, he must not give the rights of the firstborn to the son of the wife he loves in preference to his actual firstborn, the son of the wife he does not love. He must acknowledge the son of his unloved wife as the firstborn by giving him a double share of all he has. That son is the first sign of his father’s strength. The right of the firstborn belongs to him” (Deut. 21:15-17 NIV, words in square brackets added by me).

Attention is drawn to the use of phrases such as “if he marries another wife” (Exod. 21:10); “if a man has two wives” (Deut. 21:15). These phrases clearly suggest that neither monogamy nor polygamy was mandatory for anyone. It was a matter of individual choice. And it remains so even in the New Testament.

“If brothers are living together and one of them dies without a son, his widow must not marry outside the family. Her husband’s brother shall take her and marry her and fulfill the duty of a brother-in-law to her. The first son she bears shall carry on the name of the dead brother so that his name will not be blotted out from Israel. However, if a man does not want to marry his brother’s wife, she shall go to the elders at the town gate and say, “My husband’s brother refuses to carry on his brother’s name in Israel. He will not fulfill the duty of a brother-in-law to me.” Then the elders of his town shall summon him and talk to him. If he persists in saying, “I do not want to marry her,” his brother’s widow shall go up to him in the presence of the elders, take off one of his sandals, spit in his face and say, “This is what is done to the man who will not build up his brother’s family line.” That man’s line shall be known in Israel as The Family of the Unsandaled.” (Deut. 25:5-10 NIV).

In the first passage God made a law to regulate the practice of polygamy. I must quickly let you know that God does not regulate anything that He does not give approval to. In the second passage, He made provision for the brother of a dead man to raise a son for his late brother if the brother did not have a child before his death. It should be noted that God did not say the brother of the dead Israelite must be single. The inheritor of the widow could even be the elder brother of the deceased Israelite who already have his own wife or wives.

“Then Nathan said to David, You are the man! This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘I appointed you king of Israel and saved you from Saul. I gave you his kingdom and his wives. And I made you king of Israel and Judah. And if that had not been enough, I would have given you even more. So why did you ignore the Lord’s command? Why did you do what he says is wrong? You killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword of the Ammonites and took his wife to be your wife!” (2 Sam. 12:7-9 NCV).

God is the one who gave Saul’s kingdom and wives to David in addition to the ones David already had. God told David that if these things He gave David, including wives, were not enough He (God) would have given him more. But the moment David went to bed with another man’s wife, God rose up in His anger and judgment against David. God did not allow the child that was born as a result of that sinful  act to live. Some learning points in this episode are: (i) polygamy is not adultery; therefore it is not a sin; (ii) unmarried, monogamous, or polygamous men will be guilty of the sin of adultery when they go to bed with another man’s wife; (iii) the fact that God Himself gave wives to David means that polygamy is as good in His sight as monogamy is. Polygamy is not sin as men who are ignorant of the truth want us to believe. God does not give evil things to mankind whom He has created in His own image (Matt. 7:11; cf. 1 Tim. 4:1-3).

We know that Adam is the seed of the human race. He is therefore similar to the seed a farmer plants. He plants one grain of corn but he looks forward to a harvest of hundreds or even thousands of grains from that one seed. Moreover, all of God’s plans were not unfolded at one fell swoop. Many things were allowed by the Sovereign God to unfold at their proper timing. It must be noted from the beginning of creation that whenever anything which is against the will of God is committed, the Most High raises His “red flag”. If polygamy had not been in His plan for mankind, He would have spoken against it right from the time Lamech, the first known polygamous man in the Bible, married his two wives (Gen. 4:19). Neither did God do so in subsequent polygamies.

A man like Abraham who is called the friend of God (Jam. 2:23) and David, a man after God’s own heart (1 Sam. 13:14), were polygamists. There were many other faithful men of God who were polygamists. Their status as polygamists did not affect their relationship with God. Therefore we know that what makes a man acceptable to God is not whether he is a monogamist or a polygamist. A man who walks with God in faith, humility, righteousness and obedience to His words is acceptable to Him.

Did God Condemn Solomon Because of His Many Wives?

The Bible says Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:3). By his brazen and notorious self-indulgence, Solomon clearly violated two commandments of God: (i) that an Israelite king must not multiply wives for himself (Deut. 17:17); (ii) that no Israelite should intermarry with the idol-worshipping nations (Deut. 7:1-5). Solomon’s disregard for these related laws of God did bring God’s anger on him. But while the Bible does not explicitly say that his disobedience to the command that kings should not take many wives was what made him incur the anger of God, it expressly says his marriage of many foreign princesses, perhaps for political reasons, brought condemnation on him (1 Kings 11:1-13; Neh. 13:26). Just as has been forewarned by God in Deut. 7:1-5, these idolatrous foreign wives turned him away from the living and true God into an idol worshipper in his old age.

The Hebrew words “rabah nashim” (“many wives”) used in Deut. 17:17 may find their true meaning in Deut. 7:1-5. The fact that worthies like Abraham, Jacob (Israel), Moses, Gideon, David, and many more, had many wives but did not incur the wrath of God implies that having more than one or two wives may not necessarily amount to multiplying wives. It is on record that David had eight wives and at least ten concubines that he inherited from Saul. Gideon is said to have “70 sons born to him for he had many wives “(Judg. 8:30). If, therefore, their having many wives was not viewed as multiplication of wives, Solomon’s case couldn’t be different, except for the fact that the women he married were not fellow Israelites who believed in and worshipped the one God called YHWH (Yahweh). Conclusively, multiplication of wives may have all to do with marrying wives from foreign idolatrous nations. But if we should think that Deut. 17:17 has all to do with the number of wives, where do we start to equate “many wives” with multiplication of wives? We may also ask if the All-wise God will act against the law He has made? This is impossible!

Did Jesus Abolish Polygamy in the New Testament?

There is nowhere in the four Gospels Jesus is seen or heard abolishing polygamy. People simply misinterpret His words in Matt. 19:1-12 (Mark 10:1-12) either ignorantly or willfully to make them conform to the dogmas they’ve uncritically accepted from men. What Jesus Christ was discussing in these passages was divorce. It is instructive to note that Jesus Christ said that the only ground in which God allows divorce is adultery committed by a married woman (Matt. 5:32; 19:9). But these men who teach errors and falsehoods say there is no ground at all for divorce. They therefore argue against the wholesome words of our Lord Jesus Christ (1 Tim. 6:3). Some ignorantly argue that a married woman cannot commit the sin of fornication, a word used in the KJV for the Greek “porneia”which is an encompassing word for adultery, fornication, whoredom, incest, etc. and, metaphorically, idolatry. This example, though not related to the subject under discussion, is given to show you that many people are not teaching the true contents of the Bible. They always pick a phrase or verse out of context and eisegetically make their own theology out of it.

In the pages of the four Gospels, especially in Matthew 5 to 7, Jesus is seen revising, reenacting and correcting the distortions that have been brought to the moral law by the Jewish religious leaders. The laws relating to marriage form part of the moral law. Nowhere is Jesus seen condemning polygamy. We have seen earlier that neither monogamy nor polygamy was made mandatory for anyone. Therefore Jesus Christ couldn’t have used the word “wives” in Matt. 19:9 (Mark 10:7). The use of “wife” applies in both monogamous and polygamous marriages. In a polygamy, the term “wife” applies to each of the wives whose marriage to the man is a separate marital contract on its own. Her marriage contract with the man is not dependent on the man’s contract with the other wife/wives. But for the purpose of harmony, peace and mutual coexistence, she has a moral and religious duty to relate with the other wife/wives in peace and love.

Many people have misunderstood what Jesus Christ said in Matt. 19:9 (Mark 10:11). Mark’s account reads, inter alia, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. (Mark 10:11 NKJV).

Contrary to what many people suppose, Jesus did not mean here that a man cannot marry more than one wife. What he spoke against in this place is a man who divorces his wife so that he can bring in another woman. The purpose of divorcing his wife is nothing more than to create a space for the one outside to come in. The man may be a polygamist who, according to the tenets of his religion, has already got four wives. But he now wants another one to come in. This hypocrite divorces one of his four wives and brings in the new wife so that the number of his wives remains four. And the divorced wife goes for no other reason than the fact that another woman is waiting to come and be the husband’s new wife. He may also be a monogamist who must divorce his one wife to bring in another one so that he remains a monogamist, a damned culture common in the Western world and nowadays in Africa. It is this style of divorce to make room for another woman waiting to come in that Jesus spoke against. He did not say here that polygamy is adultery. 

This verse is not the only one that men have misunderstood. Men have misunderstood and distorted many scriptures (2 Pet. 3:16).

The clause “the two will become one flesh” (NIV) is an emphasis on the inviolate relationship between husband and wife, which makes it impossible for a man to divorce his wife for any reason other than marrital unfaithfulness on the part of the woman (Matt. 5:32; 19:9). That the two will become one flesh has equal effect on both monogamous and polygamous marriages. Its bearing on polygamy is explained by the fact that the marriage contract is entered into by the husband on the one part, and each of the wives, separately, on the other part at a time. The marriage contract is never between the man on the one part and the two or more wives, collectively, on the other part at a time. Therefore a polygamy in God’s sight is a twin or multiple monogamies. What the Holy God has not condemned should not be regarded as sin by any self-righteous man.

Did Paul Abolish Polygamy in the New Testament?

In his first letter to Timothy, Paul wrote:

“This is a faithful saying: If a man desires the position of a bishop, he desires a good work. A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence.” (I Tim. 3:1-4 NKJV).

Apostle Paul prescribed the same criteria for the selection of deacons (1 Tim. 3:12) and gave a similar instruction to Titus (Tit. 1:5-9). 

Why did Paul say that each church leader “must be the husband of one wife?” If it is a must for each church leader to have one wife, why did Paul himself not have a wife (1 Cor. 7:8,9)? Did he in the two letters say or insinuate that polygamy is sin? Not at all!

Paul’s words in 1 Tim. 3:2,12 and Titus 1:6 that those to be selected as leaders must each be the husband of one wife clearly suggests that there were some people in the churches at Ephesus and Crete, and probably in all the churches as at then, who were polygamous. But why exactly did Paul insist on selecting monogamists as leaders?

Let’s consider what Paul wrote to the Corinthians who were also Gentiles like the Ephesians and the Cretans:

“I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.” (1 Cor. 7:32-35 NLT).

In the same chapter Paul said: 

“Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (I Cor. 7:1-2, 7-9 NKJV).

Putting the words of Paul together, a man or woman who is single or a widow who does not remarry devotes more time to the service of God and has least distractions. So it would have all been well if everyone were to remain single as Paul (vv. 7 & 8). But not everyone has the grace to remain celibate like Paul. The temptation to sexual immorality elicits the necessity for everyone to get married (v. 2). The problem of lust makes singles who should have been most qualified for God’s service the least suited. And since the Bible, on account of lust and sexual immorality, forbids the imposition of celibacy on anyone (1 Cor. 7:2; 1 Tim. 4:3), making it necessary for everyone to get married, the next best qualified, after the willing celibate like Paul, is the man with only one wife. He has lesser earthly responsibilities towards his family, lesser distractions, and consequently, more time to use for the service of God in the church. This, I believe, is the reason Paul insisted that monogamy should be one of the criteria Timothy and Titus should use in the selection of church leaders at Ephesus and Crete. 

Neither Jesus Christ nor Paul gave any suggestion that polygamy was allowed by God only in the Old Testament.

There is nowhere it is said in the Bible that God frowns at polygamy. God neither promotes it nor condemns it. He allows man to choose the one which best meets his physical, material and spiritual needs. What God hates is all forms of sexual immorality, including adultery. Polygamy is NOT sin in the sight of God. It is very wrong to condemn what God has not condemned.

Polygamy Allowed Only in the Old Testament?

Our preachers often say that polygamy was allowed by God only in the Old Testament They regard the 24 books of the Hebrew Bible or Tanakh as the Old Testament. But the truth is that the “Old” is not the 24 books of the Hebrew Tanakh which is the same as the 36 books Christians erroneously call the Old Testament. These books contain what is called “the scriptures” in the 27 books which they call the New Testament. And the Bible says  “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching the truth, rebuking error, correcting faults, and giving instruction for right living, so that the person who serves God may be fully qualified and equipped to do every kind of good deed.” (2 Tim. 3:16-17 GNT).

What the Bible regards as the Old Covenant are the ritualistic (religious) laws guiding the individual and national worship of YHWH (Yahweh) in the Theocratic nation of Israel. They are especially the cultic rules of sacrifices which have now been rendered “old” by the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. The moral law in what they call the Old Testament were revised and/or reenacted by Jesus Christ, NOT Paul, during His first advent. These revisions are found mostly in chapters 5 to 7 of Matthew. But they are strewn over the pages of the four Gospels. Therefore the moral law, of which the laws guiding marriage is a part, subject to Christ’s revision and/or reenactment, should never be regarded as part of the Old Testament. And with regard to polygamy, there is nowhere our Lord Jesus Christ reversed the regulations God had put in place about its practice.

Monogamy is the culture of the White man. But it is not the only form of marriage approved by God . God approves of polygamy just as He approves of monogamy. 

What apostle Peter said is true of many of today’s teachers. He said,  “And remember, our Lord’s patience gives people time to be saved. This is what our beloved brother Paul also wrote to you with the wisdom God gave him— speaking of these things in all of his letters. Some of his comments are hard to understand, and those who are ignorant and unstable have twisted his letters to mean something quite different, just as they do with other parts of Scripture. And this will result in their destruction. (2 Pet. 3:15-16 NLT).

Let our pastors and teachers go and learn the principles of Bible Hermeneutics and stop teaching us what they think rather than what the scriptures actually teach. The shallow knowledge of the scriptures, especially in our African churches, is majorly responsible for the crisis in today’s Christianity. God’s people have for too long been taught by men who neither know the scriptures nor the power of God.

Conclusion

1. The fact that God Himself made rules to guide polygamy coupled with the fact that He personally gave many wives to David rules out the erroneous opinion of men that polygamy is adultery. 
2. In Mark 10:1-12 (Matt. 19:1-12), all that the Lord Jesus Christ said in the text was about divorce. He was not talking about monogamy vis-a-vis polygamy. All through the ages men have been known to twist scriptures to make them conform with their biases or the erroneous/false ideas they have been brought up with. Jesus Christ in the text did not say polygamy is now forbidden by God.
3. Paul’s words that a bishop or deacon “must be the husband of one wife” is made because it is impracticable to say that church leaders must be celibates. Chapter 7 of 1 Corinthians give the underlying reasons why Paul gave such an instruction to Timothy and Titus.
4. The instruction Paul gave the junior ministers for the selection of church leaders clearly suggests that there were men in the churches who had more than one wife. Nowhere were they called adulterers or sinners.
5. In all the four Gospels, there is no single place where God through His Word (Jesus Christ) revised the law guiding polygamy. Therefore the law remains extant (unrepealed) to this day. Those who teach against polygamy are simply teaching manmade ideas or preferences.
6. Our Lord Jesus Christ spoke against self-willed men who divorce their wives so as to bring in another one. This is the condemnable act Jesus mentioned in Matt. 19:9 (Mark 10:11). It is not adultery for a man to marry another woman and live with her without divorcing the one he earlier married.
7. Monogamy is the culture of the White man. But that does not make it a doctrine of the Bible. God never condemns nor promotes polygamy. What God has not condemned, let no misguided, self-righteous man call adultery or sin. The adulterers are those who have one wife at home but they are sleeping with other women who are not their wives. They are hypocrites. The same are those who divorce their wives so that other ones can take their place. Not only are they serial adulterers, they turn their unjustly divorced wives into adulteresses if those unjustly divorced wives should remarry while their husbands who unjustly divorced them are still alive.
8. Contrary to what many deceived teachers have taught, Apostle Paul has never given any new law to anyone. He was never given such authority and he never told anyone that he had such authority. Whatever he taught were totally in tandem with the words of the Lord Jesus Christ. But those who don’t know the truth have often interpreted the words of the Lord Jesus Christ on the basis of what Paul said or taught. But the reverse should be the case for anyone who knows that Paul and all the other apostles were messengers or servants of the Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ Himself never taught anything other than what God instructed Him to teach (John 7:16; 12:48-50). But false teachers have taught their own opinions and biases other than the truth that is exegetically drawn out of God’s word.