authority

A popular Nigerian pastor once said, “If your physical [biological] father curses you, go to your spiritual father, he can cancel the curse. If your pastor, your spiritual father, curses you, run to the general overseer, he can cancel the curse. If the general overseer curses you, fast for forty days and nights, and beg his father in heaven, God can cancel the curse. If God curses you, where will you go?” (word in square bracket added by me).

Although he was talking on the subject of tithing, with reference to Malachi 3:8-11, his speech revealed what he believes to be the hierarchy of authority over individuals in the church.  It is evident from his speech that he considered the pastor as having a higher authority over a church member than the member’s parent.

In 2018, a young man in one of the leading Pentecostal churches got interested in my daughter. He was the youth leader in the church. He came to me and made his intention known to me. He also made his intention known to the Marriage Committee of the church, and was making himself available for their screening at their meetings. While the Marriage Committee was still doing their thing, his family came to see my family on August 4, 2018, to make a formal proposal to my family that they want to marry my daughter. This was the proper thing to be done. But the Marriage Committee suspended him from his duty in the church and placed the marriage process on suspension for a number of months. What was his offence? His offence was that he did not seek and obtain the permission of the marriage committee before he brought his family to see me and my family. This caused the marriage not to hold until November 2019. But for two major factors that restrained members of the committee, the marriage would have been cancelled by the committee on this singular ground, that they did not authorise the groom before coming to see me. First, the pastor who then had just been posted to the District Church told the committee that he had heard that many marriages had been stopped by the committee on very flimsy grounds. He insisted that my daughter’s marriage must not be frustrated by the committee like many others before. Secondly, the church had been using a flat in my house, free of charge, as one of its “Location Church” for many years. The members of the committee feared that I would throw the church out of my house if they should, in their usual tyrannical and hypocritical manner, mess up my daughter’s marriage. By saying the groom must not see the parents until he is permitted to do so, the committee had placed itself as having more power over the marriage than the parents of the bride.

Evidently, these churches and their pastors believe that they have a higher authority over the lives of their members than the parents of the members. But is there any biblical support for this belief and practice in our churches? Let the Bible, which is our final authority, speak.

The Authority of Parents

The authority of parents was divinely given by God. It forms part of the Ten Commandments  given by God, which eternally remains binding. The fifth commandment reads, “Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12 NKJV, bold emphases are mine throughout).

This commandment is one of the dominant topics that run all through the Bible. The commandment became one of the motifs in the Bible that underscores the importance God places on our need of obeying our parents. The most important persons in our lives, after God, are our parents. When the Bible commands that we honour our parents, it does not distinguish between Christian and non-Christian parents. We came into the world through our parents. If they did not want us to live, they could easily terminate our lives. All they did to sustain our lives made them the most important persons in our lives. They are the next after God. It should interest us to note that the fifth commandment is the only one with a promise attached to it – the promise of prosperous living and longevity. Therefore, whenever we read the promise, ”With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation,” (Psalm 91:16 ESV), we should understand that the promise here is not an unconditional one. Its fulfilment stands on our obedience to the fifth commandment in particular and the other nine commandments.  See Deut. 5:16,33; 6:2; 11:8-9.

As said earlier, the commandment that we should obey our parents is strewn over the pages of the Bible. A few of the passages are worth looking at:

Jesus Christ told the Pharisees, “And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? [4] For God said, “Honour your father and mother” and “Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.” [5] But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is “devoted to God,” [6] they are not to “honour their father or mother” with it. Thus, you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition. [7] You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you: [8]  ‘ “These people honour me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. [9]  They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.” (Matt. 15:3-9 NIVUK).

Paul reminded the Ephesian church of the fifth commandment when he wrote, ”Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. [2] ‘Honour your father and mother’ – which is the first commandment with a promise – [3] ‘so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (Eph. 6:1-3 NIVUK).

He again reminded the believers in Colossae of the importance of obeying the commandment. He wrote, “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord” (Col. 3:20 NIVUK).

It is important to note that God gave much authority to parents. He gave fathers and husbands the power to revoke any vow made to Him by a child or a wife under the care of a father or husband. No such power is given to any pope, bishop, pastor, reverend, or a self-acclaimed general overseer to revoke a vow made to the LORD:

“When a young woman still living in her father’s household makes a vow to the LORD or binds herself by a pledge [4] and her father hears about her vow or pledge but says nothing to her, then all her vows and every pledge by which she bound herself will stand. [5] But if her father forbids her when he hears about it, none of her vows or the pledges by which she bound herself will stand; the LORD will release her because her father has forbidden her. [6] ‘If she marries after she makes a vow or after her lips utter a rash promise by which she binds herself [7] and her husband hears about it but says nothing to her, then her vows or the pledges by which she bound herself will stand. [8] But if her husband forbids her when he hears about it, he nullifies the vow that binds her or the rash promise by which she binds herself, and the LORD will release her.” (Num. 30:3-8 NIVUK).

As far as this law is concerned,  it is applicable to both males and females still under the care of their fathers. We know this because when Jesus was speaking against the distortion of this law by the Pharisees (Matt. 15:4-9), he did not say it applied to female children alone.

The singular fact that fathers are allowed by God to annul vows made to Him is a significant proof that a clergyman does not have superior authority over the biological  fathers of their members. It does not matter whether the fathers are themselves members of the church or not.

Here is another authority given  to fathers by God with regard to their daughters. It cannot be overemphasised that this power is not given to any church leader, no matter the title he bears:

“If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife. [17] If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for virgins.” (Exodus 22:16-17 NIVUK).

The father, not the pastor or papa, is the one given the right by God to decide who he wants his daughter to marry. No pastor, papa, bishop, or any committee of any church has the superior power over the social or private life of each member of the church. Marriage is part of the private affairs of church members. There is no single instance found in the Bible where any marriage was conducted either in the temple, synagogue, or the church. But since the pastors have taken over the joining of couples in the churches, the pastors have erroneously believed that they have the superior power over marriage matters than the parents of those wanting to get married. This power was never given to pastors.

The power given to parents by God was gradually usurped by power-hungry clergy after the death of the apostles. The Catholic Church started it by calling its head papa, meaning father.  Over time, priests of various religious orders began to bear the title father. But in the days of the apostles, all the believers referred to themselves as “brethren” as commanded by the Lord Jesus Christ (Matt. 23:8). See, for example, Acts 1:16; 6:3; 9:17;  15:7,13; 2 Pet. 3:15. Even when the apostles and elders made mention of their assigned roles, they still recognised that they were fellow brethren. In the opening letter, they wrote to the Gentile believers in Antioch, Syria, and Cilicia. After the meeting in Jerusalem, they wrote, “From the apostles and elders, your brothers…” (Acts 15:23 NET). They did not consider themselves as the great ones who were superior to all others in the body of Christ.

Parents, on their part, should realise that there is power in their words. It is therefore expected of them to exercise maximum restraint in making pronouncements on their children. The power God puts in their tongues is not meant to be used to destroy the lives of their children. Therefore, all parents, whether they are Christians or not, must prat to have the grace not to be easily provoked to the extent that they lay avoidable curses on their children. Parents can destroy their children’s lives with their curses. They are, therefore, to have God-like patience. ”The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” (Psa. 103:8; 145:8; Joel 2:13).

 The power God gave parents over their children places on them great responsibility. They, like God, should be  compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love toward their children (Exod. 34:6; Num. 14:18; Psa. 86:15). Just as a parent cannot pick up a gun and shoot his child to death at any provocation, so is he not expected to lay a curse on his child no matter the provocation.

Can a pastor cancel a blessing or a curse placed on a person by his or her father?

If a father/mother blesses or curses his/her son or daughter, it will take someone with a higher power to cancel the blessing or curse. The only one who has a higher power than your parent is God. Your pastor has not been given any power higher than that of your father or mother. Therefore, no pastor can reverse any blessing or curse placed on you by your parent. The best your pastor can do is to follow you to go and beg your father or mother to reverse the curse. But if the parent is no longer alive or refuses to reverse the curse, your pastor can join you to pray to God to reverse the curse. No pastor can reverse or cancel any curse placed on you by the one who gave birth to you.

Let us learn a lesson from this episode:

“Someone in the crowd said to him, ‘Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.’ [14] Jesus replied, ‘Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?” (Luke 12:13-14 NIVUK).

The judgment of the world has been given to Jesus by God (John 5:22; Acts 17:31). But here, Jesus made it known to the person that he has not been given the power to arbitrate in the estate of this man’s late father. In the same way, no pastor is given the power to cancel or assume the power God has given parents over their children. It amounts to a teaching of disobedience when pastors tell their followers that they have the power to reverse a curse placed on them by their biological parents. It is sheer arrogance when any pastor says he has the authority to cancel a curse placed on someone by his or her parent.

There are those who may misunderstand the authority given, first to Peter, and later to the apostles. It says, “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” (Matt. 18:18 NIVUK, see also Matt. 16:19).

It should be understood that this is not the power to have dominion over others. It was an authority given to the 12 apostles of Jesus Christ, including Paul, to make declarations on doctrinal issues. The apostles were seen to have made use of this power jointly in Acts 15. The result was the declaration they made, which says:

“The apostles and elders, your brothers, To the Gentile believers in Antioch, Syria and Cilicia: Greetings. [24] We have heard that some went out from us without our authorisation and disturbed you, troubling your minds by what they said. [25] So we all agreed to choose some men and send them to you with our dear friends Barnabas and Paul – [26] men who have risked their lives for the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. [27] Therefore, we are sending Judas and Silas to confirm by word of mouth what we are writing. [28] It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us not to burden you with anything beyond the following requirements: [29] You are to abstain from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from the meat of strangled animals and from sexual immorality. You will do well to avoid these things. Farewell. (Acts 15:23-29 NIVUK).

God led them by His Spirit to arrive at this conclusion. It was not an arbitrary, self-vaunting declaration by the apostles. Therefore, there was nothing in this declaration that contravened the written word of God. It is instructive to note that the apostles and the elders referred to themselves as “your brothers.” They didn’t consider themselves as lords or gods who needed to be worshipped by the Gentle believers.

There is not a single instance found in the Bible where our Lord Jesus Christ and his apostles tried to lord it over others. They did not go beyond the authority gi ven them by God. They observed and operated within the boundaries established by God.

Pastors Are Called To Be Servants, Not Lords Over Other Humans

If we understand the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ, we will know that he did not give any clergyman a superior authority  over our earthly parents. He once called his disciples together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. [26] Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, [27] and whoever wants to be first must be your slave – [28] just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matt. 20:25-28 NIVUK).

Here the Lord said that he did not come to be served but to serve others. This means that he took the position of a servant. This is the position he wanted his servants to take. He told them in clear terms that they should be different from worldly rulers who “lord it over others” and who “exercise authority over others” (v. 25). They, like Christ himself, were to be different (vv. 26-28). They were not made CEOs over the flock of Christ. They were shepherds who tend to the flock. A shepherd is either the owner of the flock or someone employed to take care of the flock. Pastors are not the owners of God’s flock. They are, first and foremost, part of the flock. But they have been chosen as elders in the flock. God did not make them the lords of the flock. Jesus Christ has been chosen by God as the Lord and Chief Shepherd of His flock. No one else can be a lord of that flock. As shepherds, their duty is to faithfully and truthfully feed the sheep of Christ with the word of God. They were not called to be the lords over other humans. Neither were they chosen to control the homes of those they shepherd in the church.

In Matthew 23, Jesus exposed the hypocrisy of the Pharisees and teachers of the law, also known as scribes. Many of today’s pastors are like them. In verses 5-12, Jesus said this about them:

“Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; [6] they love the place of honour at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; [7] they love to be greeted with respect in the market-places and to be called “Rabbi” by others. [8]  ‘But you are not to be called “Rabbi”, for you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers. [9] And do not call anyone on earth “father”, for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. [10] Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one Instructor, the Messiah. [11] The greatest among you will be your servant. [12] For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Matt. 23:5-12 NIVUK).

The Pharisees and the scribes were vainglorious. They loved to be revered by others. The reverence they wanted others to accord them was not different from that which properly should be given to God. This made Christ warn his disciples not to be like them.

True Ministers of the Gospel of Jesus Christ  do not curse anyone

For any pastor to say that a curse placed on anyone by a General Overseer requires fasting for forty days and nights is a statement made with a haughty and manipulative spirit. A true pastor is not permitted by God to curse anyone. The Lord Jesus Christ commanded his true servants to “bless those who curse you” (Matt. 5:44; Luke 6:28). Apostle Paul affirmed it when he wrote, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” (Rom. 12:14 NIVUK).

Apostle James also affirmed the same thing when he wrote, “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. [10] Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.”(James 3:9-10 NIVUK).

It is not expected of any anointed minister of the gospel of Christ to curse anyone. It is instructive to read Luke 9:51-56. Part of it reads:

“But they [some Samaritans] did not receive Him because His face was set for the journey to Jerusalem. [54] And when His disciples James and John saw this, they said, “Lord, do You want us to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them, just as Elijah did?” [55] But He turned and rebuked them, and said, “You do not know what manner of spirit you are of.  [56] For the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives but to save them.” And they went to another village.” (Luke 9:53-56 NKJV).

Curses destroy men’s lives. Pastors are supposed to be like their Master, Jesus Christ. It is not expected of them to curse anyone. Any servant of Christ who does that will earn a rebuke from the Lord.

By the way, why is prayer and fasting for forty days and nights required to cancel a curse placed on a person by a “general overseer” but that placed on someone by any other pastor who is not a “general overseer” does not require the same rigours? Is there any biblical support for that statement? My brothers and sisters in the Lord, there is none. There is also no office of a general overseer known in the Bible. The statements made by the general overseer mentioned earlier are characteristic of him. He makes such statements to project himself as a great man of God, one who possesses higher “spiritual power” than anyone else in his church conglomerate. They are statements deliberately made to intimidate and mesmerise the millions of his followers. This makes him another Simon the Sorcerer who projected himself so much that the people of Samaria were mesmerised by him and began to call him “the Great Power of God” (Acts 8:10). But he was as powerless as those who revered him (vv. 18-19). These statements by the general overseer are nothing more than  vainglorious, self-projecting gimmicks. He uses them to manipulate and cage his followers. It is a form of sorcery. Apostle Paul called these manipulative tricks bewitchment in Gal. 3:1.

Conclusion

The power given to parents by God has not been withdrawn from them and given to any pastor, bishop, apostle, or papa. But the clergy has usurped that power and now believes that the clergy has a higher power over the lives of their congregants than the parents of the congregants.

Marriage is purely an affair between the families of the two people who want to get married to each other. The church does not have the power to dominate the families on such matters. This is one issue on which the church has been repeatedly found in hypocrisy. The church wields so much power when the “poor” members are involved. But the church turns a blind eye on the same matters when the rich and powerful people in the society are involved. Things ought not be so in the church. Pastors should not deviate from their duty of feeding the flock of God with the pure word of God. They have not been called to dominate the membership of the church.

No pastor, bishop, reverend, apostle, papa (pope), or a so-called “general overseer” can reverse or cancel any curse placed on anyone by his or her parent(s). God is the only one who can do that. All that a pastor can do is to help the member beg the parent to reverse the curse, or to join the member to pray to God to cancel the curse.