Ephesians 6:1

Apostle Peter said that many people who lacked proper understanding of the scriptures have twisted Paul’s letters and many other scriptures, making them to say what was not the mind of the writers (2 Peter 3:16). This is exactly the case in Ephesians 6:1, where Apostle Paul wrote, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. [2] ‘Honour your father and mother’ – which is the first commandment with a promise – [3] ‘so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (Eph. 6:1-3 NIVUK).

Here, Paul was reminding the Ephesian believers of the fifth commandment given by God in Exodus 20:12 and strongly emphasised all through the Bible. The apostle reminded them that, as believers in the Lord, it is a proper thing for children to obey and honour their parents. He reminded them that it was the first commandment given by God with a promise attached to it. Then, in verse 4, he advised the parents in the church not to provoke their children to anger by the way they treat their children. In the first four verses, Paul gave godly advice to both children and parents who are “in the Lord,” that is, Christians. This is similar to the advice he gave wives and their husbands in the church (Eph. 5:22-33), as well as servants and their masters (Eph. 6:5-9).  Paul balanced things up in this epistle by referring to the two sides in a relationship – wives and their husbands, children and their parents, as well as servants and their masters.

We must not forget that the letter was written to Christians in Ephesus. Paul was communicating with the believers who are in the Lord. In verse one, Paul was addressing the children who are in the Lord, that is, the Christian children in the church. Paul never meant any pastor in Ephesians 6:1.

What “in the Lord” means

The wordings “in Christ,” “in him,” and “in the Lord” were frequently used in the New Testament. Apostle Paul used these expressions a total of 137 times. These terms mean being a follower of Christ or those who belong to Christ. In other words, they are used for those who are in union with Christ.

The Lord Jesus Christ himself used certain expressions, which became the basis of these terms used by Paul and other New Testament writers. Jesus Christ had said, “I am in the Father, and the Father is in me” (John 14:10, 11; 10:38). He also said that his true followers are in him and he in them (John 6:56; 14:20; 15:4; 17:23, 26). He likened the being in one another to a tree branch being attached to the tree (John 15:5-8). (The branch gets its needed supplies from the tree to stay alive. The tree itself, except in some rare species, bears its fruits through its branches.) Being in Christ, therefore, does not have the idea of wine being inside the bottle or of cookies being inside the jar. It means being attached to Christ and having a relationship with him. In other words, it means being a Christian.

From this brief explanation, and especially from the context of Ephesians 6:1-4, it is clear that Paul was addressing children and their parents. It is therefore wrong for anyone to say that the phrase “parents in the Lord” in this place refers to pastors.

A typical example

As said earlier, the phrase “in the Lord” is used many times by the New Testament writers. Apostle Paul used it 43 times in his epistles. One of the places where he used the phrase is Romans 16:2. The New King James Version (NKJV) renders versrs 1 and 2 in these words:

“I commend to you Phoebe our sister, who is a servant of the church in Cenchrea, [2] that you may receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints, and assist her in whatever business she has need of you; for indeed she has been a helper of many and of myself also.” (Romans 16:1-2 NKJV, emphasis added).

Here, the phrase “receive her in the Lord” means to welcome her with a sisterly affection – the kind of welcome that ought to be given to someone of the same precious faith, a fellow Christian.

The use of the phrase “in the Lord” in Ephesians 6:1 is not different. It means being in the Lord. Paul was saying, in essence, that children who are in the Lord (Christians) are required by God to obey their parents. They are required to obey the fifth commandment because, as Christian children, they are children of obedience. Their failure to  obey the fifth commandment entails their forfeiture of the promises attached to it – wellbeing and longevity.

How some modern versions render the verse

There is nothing wrong with the traditional translation of the verse. However, since some people have misunderstood the verse, I quote below four modern versions that will help anyone have a clearer understanding of the first three verses, with bold emphases added by me:

“Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. [2] “Honour your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: [3] If you honour your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.” (Eph. 6:1-3 NLT).

“Children, it is your Christian duty to obey your parents, for this is the right thing to do. [2]  “Respect your father and mother” is the first commandment that has a promise added: [3] “so that all may go well with you, and you may live a long time in the land.” (Eph. 6:1-3 GNT).

“Children, you belong to the Lord, and you do the right thing when you obey your parents. The first commandment with a promise says, [2]  “Obey your father and your mother, [3] and you will have a long and happy life.” (Eph. 6:1-3 CEV).

“Children, obey your parents because you are Christians. This is the right thing to do. [2] “Honour your father and mother [3] that everything may go well for you, and you may have a long life on earth.” This is an important commandment with a promise. (Eph. 6:1-3 GW).

It can be seen from these versions that the phrase “in the Lord” refers to children rather than their parents. The fact that the phrase “in the Lord” (Greek: ἐν κυρίῳ·, en kyrio) is immediately preceded by “your parents” (Greek: γονεῦσιν ὑμῶν, goneusin hymōn) does not make “your parents” the referent. Greek is somehow different from English in word order. The fact that a noun is used before a verb does not necessarily make it the subject. Here, in Ephesians 6:1, “your parents” are not the referent of the phrase “in the Lord.”

In conclusion, it is wrong for any pastor to teach that Paul made him a spiritual father to any of his followers. That idea is a misrepresentation of what Paul wrote in Ephesians 6:1.