wife

Unknown to many Christians, many of the popular doctrines being taught in most churches these days are gravely and regrettably unbiblical. They are nothing but the imaginations of men which have been infused into Christian teachings after the death of the 12 apostles chosen by the Lord Jesus Christ. One of them is the teaching that Jesus Christ affirmed in Mark 10:1-12 (Matt. 19:1-9) that monogamy is the only form of marriage union approved for Christians. But we see in this passage that Jesus addressed the question posed to him by the Pharisees on the subject of divorce. He did not affirm monogamy as the only form of marriage union approved by God.

What about Paul, did he not teach that bishops and deacons (church leaders) should be husbands of one wife? Yes, he did, in 1 Tim. 3:2, 12 and Tit. 1:6. He also said in 1 Cor. 7:2 that each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. But interpreting these verses to mean a confirmation of monogamy as the only acceptable form of marriage union is erroneous. The following points should be noted:

(1) In Paul’s general epistle to the churches, he did not write anything of such. He only  instructed Timothy and Titus who were pastoring the newly-formed churches of Ephesus and Crete on the criteria they should use in selecting leaders for the churches, one of which was that each of the leaders should have one wife.

(2) The fact that having one wife should be used as a criterion clearly suggests that there were men in the churches who had more than one wife. Did Paul call them adulterers? No. Did he say they should divorce their wives apart from their first wives? He did not. We know that the overzealous preachers who teach that any polygamous man who becomes a believer in Christ’s gospel should divorce their wives apart from their first wives have not taught biblical truth. We know so because the Bible says, “Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.” (1 Cor. 7:20 NIVUK). God knew the hearts of both the monogamous and polygamous men before He called them into faith  in His only begotten Son.

(3) Paul did not state why he wrote that the church leaders should be the husbands of one wife. However, in his first letter to the Corinthian believers, which he wrote about ten years prior to his first letter to Timothy, Paul addressed some issues relating to marriage, divorce, and celibacy. In verse 2, he said that, in order to avoid sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The singular nouns “man” (Greek:  ἕκαστος, hekastos) and “wife” (Greek: γυναῖκα, gynaika) used here connote marriage union between husband and wife, irrespective of the union being monogamous or polygamous. Paul was not advocating monogamy in this verse.

Another point he discussed is found in 1 Cor. 7:32-35. He reasoned that an unmarried person can fully devote himself or herself to the service of God without distraction. But a married person is cumbered with family concerns. This poses distractions to him or her in the service of God. This suggests that the unmarried or celibate would have been preferred for the service of God. But since it is not everyone that has the grace to maintain a life of celibacy without burning with lust (1 Cor. 7:1-2, 7-9), the married person becomes better suited for the service of God. Following this logical reasoning makes a monogamous man best suited for the work of God because he has lesser family pressures than the polygamous man whose family will normally  be larger. The monogamous man is also better armed to avoid sexual sin than the celibate. Paul probably specified monogamy for church leaders because it was the best of three options. On the one hand, those who have one wife would have fewer family distractions than those who have many wives (1 Cor. 7:33-35). On the other hand, it was better than celibacy, which carried with it the burden of avoiding sexual immorality (1 Cor. 7:1-2, 7-9). Were it not for this problem, celibacy would have been the best option because the celibate has all the time to devote to  God’s work since he is not encumbered by family pressures. Paul knew that it was only a few people who had the grace to remain  celibate. He was simply rational when he instructed Timothy and Titus to choose monogamous men as church leaders. He did not imply the “one man, one wife” dogma, which the Western church copied from the Romans and imposed on all Christians. Monogamy is not a biblical rule for all Christians.

Author: Pius O. Odjegba